


No Sweeter Innocence Than Our Gentle Sin

by mh1245



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:46:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29187285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mh1245/pseuds/mh1245
Summary: So that was completely random lol and based on a dream I had, anyway lemme know what you think, have an awesome day :)
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 6
Kudos: 77





	No Sweeter Innocence Than Our Gentle Sin

_Toni_.

I’d always heard rumours about her, the untameable, dangerous, aggressive foster kid.

She’d never know this, but I remember the first time I saw her, we we’re 14. I had just come out of church with my parents, looking for Andrew to see him towering over her. The words he called her I cannot disclose, I am not blasphemous after all.

Her tanned, toned body – basketball shirt hanging off of her, abs glistening in the Texan heat; like she was graced by the touch of a goddess – ‘god only does beautiful’ I think to myself. The rage, the fire, the passion in her eyes as she threw her fist into him. It’s as if she were a flower preserved in an ice age, rough to the observer, but something delicate and gentle underneath it all. Afterall I would know, the mask she wears… well I recognise that all too well.

I see her sat across Math class always dazed, fists always clenched, jaw tightened; I wonder why she runs so hot all the time, what does she think about? Is her skin as soft as it looks? What would it be like to run my fingers through her hair?

But of course, I don’t think about this, I’m Shelby Goodkind after all, I could never truly think those things about her. Afterall, it is a sin … _right?_

“What the fuck is your problem?” she’d yell at me when I intentionally bang into her in the corridor. Was it so she’d notice me? So, shed look at me, _really look at me_? Was it so I could look at her? All I know is I can’t stop doing it, I don’t want to stop; and if this is a living hell, then it’s worth it to drown in those eyes; to feel the firm pressure of her shoulder into mine, burning me so beautifully. 

Stop, Shelby. Grab your cross, focus on it, focus on anything. Pray for yourself, repent – god has to forgive me, right?

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” she’d sneer when I push her into the supply closet, throwing her against the wall, I kiss her intensely. Because by doing that, I know I can regain control. I can get this silly obsession out of my head, I can repent … again, and then god has to forgive me, right?

“Are you okay?” she’d mumble breathless to me when I pull away, the look of fear in my storm ridden eyes. Because who am I kidding, how can I control something comparable to oxygen, something I need to survive. The bible says, ‘Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ’, so by submitting to her touch, that’s the godliest thing I can do, right?

“Are you sure?” she’d whisper into my mouth as I pull her out of her clothes, taking my own with me. And then she’s on top of me, kissing me, leaving passionate bite marks as she trails down my body, claiming me as her own. If the scripture says ‘you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’, and the truth is that I ~~want this~~ need this, she will set me free – like god intends, right?

“You’re so wet Shelby, do you want me to keep going?” she’d ask while teasing me slowly, kissing my exposed neck. I’m drowning in the way she looks up at me, so humble, so gentle. I can’t help but nod as she pushes her fingers into me, making me gasp with a throaty moan. My name on her lips is like ecstasy and gripping onto her for dear life - I can’t help but fall apart in her arms. ‘Be intoxicated always in her love’, that’s what god is telling me to do, right?

“You don’t have to do this, you know?” She’d moan into my mouth, as I try to reciprocate the feeling she gave me, fingers circling her clit, before pushing deep inside her; slow, passionate strokes … I remember. It’s like I’m feeling it all over again, her arching into me, pulling me into her as she tenses underneath me – feeling her lips curl into my neck as she whimpers beneath me. ‘She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her’. I know the bible was talking about _Toni_ when this was written, and so this had to be an act of grace, right?

“Again?” she’d ask, every time we’d repeat the routine; each time more gentle, more loving, never wavering, never questioning, just understanding. Starting to exchange glances across busy corridors, settling on short meaningful conversations; I reach for my cross again, only this time to thank God, because this was his plan all along, right?

“Have you missed me?” She’d laugh as I dive on top of her in her college dorm, peppering kisses all over her face before snuggling into her neck. I spent every spare second, I could with her now, in her ocean of calm, the tide of her breathing. We balance each other out like a spoon of sugar to bitter coffee. She once told me I look like sleep to the freezing, the bible says ‘let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding’ and if she is my peace, then it can’t be a sin, right.

“Why?” She’d probe when she’d found out I’d broke up with Andrew.

“Because I love you” I say, “It’s always been you”. I state simply, affirmatively. She nods subtly, a small grazing smile traces her lips; like she knows the same thing god knows.

‘Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.’

I grasp my cross, and I know, my religion, my love, _my Toni_ \- she’s always known, and she’s been waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was completely random lol and based on a dream I had, anyway lemme know what you think, have an awesome day :)


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